So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
