Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
