I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I touched a dick in church today
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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