So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
