ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
