oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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