I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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