I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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