you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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