Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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