is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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