Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
