Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
