fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
