Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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