i don't plan on having that self control this summer
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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