Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
