She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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