It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
