HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
