sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
