I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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