Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
