Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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