I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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