Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize