you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
