Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
