nut hugger
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
