Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
