There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
