So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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