if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize