I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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