you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
