Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
