Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Watching her eat just hurts me
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
