Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
