yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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