I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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