I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
