first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You can't just leave with hair like that
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My ass is underappreciated
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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