He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Someone came in the potted fern
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
