Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
