So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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