at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
