Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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