Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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