The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
