i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
