I'm drive I can fine osifer
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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