Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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