is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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