Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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