Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
