i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
