Plan B is the new Plan A
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
