Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
