I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did i walk over a car last night?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
